Well, this may be one of the most awkward experiences that have ever occurred in my life. Now this isn’t something that had happened recently, but in conversation today this story had come up. After, I had told this story to my friend, and he was thoroughly dying, he said this was definitely worthy to post. Previously, when I had made this blog, I had decided that this was not going to be censored, that I would not limit what I posted. Now, over the past few weeks, I have found that I had been holding more and more back, but this is totally going against what this blog was made for: AWKWARD, STRANGE, MESSED UP HAPPENINGS IN MY LIFE.
For the sake of everybody involved, names are definitely changed. I apologize preemptively to all of you, but this is totally blog worthy.
Back quite a few months ago, this one guy I had been seeing, (who we will call “Fearow,”), his roommate ( who I shall call “Lickitung” ) and I were just hanging out. We were all talking, watching tv, having a good old dandy night, but it was growing late (around 1:30 am). We were used to staying up until 3 in the morning, but this night Lickitung decided to head to bed a little earlier than normal. Lickitung left Fearow’s room and went to his own.
Fearow and I decided to head to bed as well. We both got some sleeping clothes on, turned off the light, and head to bed. We were both lying down, cozy under the covers, and both began to get a little frisky. Clothes, at least what little of them were on, began to come off, and suddenly we heard a sound.
The walls in this apartment seemed to be paper thin, and that’s when we both realized it was the room to Lickitung’s door. Immediately, we both froze and were nearly holding our breath. We heard some foot movement, heard the door close again and thought we were in the clear. After a few moments, our previous actions had resumed. Things started to get hot and heavy, but then we heard some shuffling and Lickitung’s door had opened once again.
Footsteps approached Fearow’s room. I turned over, pulled the blanket as far over myself as I could tucking myself in tight, and Fearow knew the cue to pretend he was sleeping. Lickitung came into the room and asked with a slight giggle, “Hey guys, are you sleeping?”
I had replied, “Yeah, I had just started to doze off, whats up?”
He giggled a little more and scampered over the bed. I was thinking to myself don’t sit down, please. Don’t touch me, don’t come near, I don’t want this to be any more awkward than it was. Fearow had turned toward me, which meant his back was more toward Koffing.
Lickitung was standing right next to the bed when he said, “I’m cheezing right now.” (This meant that he had partaken of a special herb and was flying higher than a kite.)
Upon saying this he laid down on both Fearow and myself, and proceeded to try tickling us. I’m super ticklish myself so this had me laughing pretty hard. I had a death grip on that blanket, and I could feel how tense Fearow was, especially since he was also a little… excited.
Lickitung trying to up the ante, began to try reaching under the blanket to tickle me worse. I suck in my abs, and curl up into the fetal position. This made the already strange situation even more strange.
Just imagine, you’re in bed with a significant other, about to get it on. Moments before this is about to happen, his roommate barges in, under the influence as well. The roommate lies on top of both of you. You both are naked, under a blanket. YOUR ONLY PROTECTION IS A BLANKET. ONE. LAYER. OF. BLANKET.
We are both at the point of incredible awkwardness. In my best whiney voice that I can summon from the inner valley girl that every female has, I say “Duuuuuude, I’m soooooo tired. STAAAAAAAHHHHHPPPPP.”
At this point, Lickitung stops, and begins to cuddle us. HE IS CUDDLING BOTH OF US. I’m still petrified, holding onto that blanket for dear life. Time. Seems. To. Stop. Not in a cute way either. About 2 minutes later, Lickitung says “well, goodnight guys,” and heads to bed.
Once Koffing’s door closes, Fearow and I begin to uneasily giggle. Given the circumstances, any urges that we previously should have dissipated in that unworldly awkward encounter. Somehow, by some miracle, this strange encounter was not a cock block…
The next morning, I ran into Lickitung in class, and he had apologized repeatedly about the previous night. I was under the impression that he had known about the nakedness and whatnot, until he mentioned, “Yeah it was really awkward, I was really high and you two were just trying to sleep.” … Well, not exactly.
What the hell, Wednesday…
Buffalo Knitter out, Peace…