Dropping a throwback poem today

Deep into night, In a monologue to himself, He asked me, after I had fallen into slumber, “why don’t you love me?”

it’s not that I don’t love you.

But that question, it doesn’t have one mere answer Because it is a storm. You are the sun, and I am the rain. we always are competing for the same goal. The goal to be the one that provides, that nourishes others. We compete and compete to give and give, but rarely do either of us take. We push each other to our limits, but fluster when the other doesn’t step aside.

In those fleeting moments, yes we do work together, and it’s beautiful, and it’s a rainbow, but it’s growing far and few.

I need the thunder. Not the sun. I need someone who can create a storm with me, build a hurricane together. My presence should not be masked by light, but announced with the clash.

This constant battle, it’s exhausting, and either I will run dry or you will burn out.

Dingy motels

Sitting in silence I would rather be here trapped, Jailed in the prison of my thoughts, Than know that my life could be in your hands.

I know that you are apologetic, I know that you fear, The power, The strength, you gave me by leaving me in this solitude here.

The silence of my mouth: It does not represent passivity. It only means that my thoughts are not emulated through noise, They are potent in written words.

I used to find sleep at a loss,

while my belief safety was nowhere, and my heart ached.

Now, rest is in abundance, I’ve heard that you still pace the floors. I can remember the brushing of your feet against the tile.

The smell of cigarettes, they haunt me, reminding me

Grounding me back to where I have come from: of the bar side lies, and the hushed sighs.

I can still visualize your distant gaze, never present, ever glazed.

And you ask the same questions rarely absorbing the answers because all I am is white noise.

I remain. And wonder had happened. And wonder what will happen.

Because I know I cannot trust you yet.

                I cannot.

How does this stuff happen to me?

Well, this may be one of the most awkward experiences that have ever occurred in my life. Now this isn’t something that had happened recently, but in conversation today this story had come up. After, I had told this story to my friend, and he was thoroughly dying, he said this was definitely worthy to post. Previously, when I had made this blog, I had decided that this was not going to be censored, that I would not limit what I posted. Now, over the past few weeks, I have found that I had been holding more and more back, but this is totally going against what this blog was made for: AWKWARD, STRANGE, MESSED UP HAPPENINGS IN MY LIFE.

For the sake of everybody involved, names are definitely changed. I apologize preemptively to all of you, but this is totally blog worthy.

Back quite a few months ago, this one guy I had been seeing, (who we will call “Fearow,”), his roommate ( who I shall call “Lickitung” ) and I were just hanging out. We were all talking, watching tv, having a good old dandy night, but it was growing late (around 1:30 am). We were used to staying up until 3 in the morning, but this night Lickitung decided to head to bed a little earlier than normal. Lickitung left Fearow’s room and went to his own.

Fearow and I decided to head to bed as well. We both got some sleeping clothes on, turned off the light, and head to bed. We were both lying down, cozy under the covers, and both began to get a little frisky. Clothes, at least what little of them were on, began to come off, and suddenly we heard a sound.

The walls in this apartment seemed to be paper thin, and that’s when we both realized it was the room to Lickitung’s door. Immediately, we both froze and were nearly holding our breath. We heard some foot movement, heard the door close again and thought we were in the clear. After a few moments, our previous actions had resumed. Things started to get hot and heavy, but then we heard some shuffling and Lickitung’s door had opened once again.

Footsteps approached Fearow’s room. I turned over, pulled the blanket as far over myself as I could tucking myself in tight, and Fearow knew the cue to pretend he was sleeping. Lickitung came into the room and asked  with a slight giggle, “Hey guys, are you sleeping?”

I had replied, “Yeah, I had just started to doze off, whats up?”

He giggled a little more and scampered over the bed. I was thinking to myself don’t sit down, please. Don’t touch me, don’t come near, I don’t want this to be any more awkward than it was. Fearow had turned toward me, which meant his back was more toward Koffing.

Lickitung was standing right next to the bed when he said, “I’m cheezing right now.” (This meant that he had partaken of a special herb and was flying higher than a kite.)

Upon saying this he laid down on both Fearow and myself, and proceeded to try tickling us. I’m super ticklish myself so this had me laughing pretty hard. I had a death grip on that blanket, and I could feel how tense Fearow was, especially since he was also a little… excited.

Lickitung trying to up the ante, began to try reaching under the blanket to tickle me worse. I suck in my abs, and curl up into the fetal position. This made the already strange situation even more strange.

 Just imagine, you’re in bed with a significant other, about to get it on. Moments before this is about to happen, his roommate barges in, under the influence as well. The roommate lies on top of both of you. You both are naked, under a blanket. YOUR ONLY PROTECTION IS A BLANKET. ONE. LAYER. OF. BLANKET.

We are both at the point of incredible awkwardness. In my best whiney voice that I can summon from the inner valley girl that every female has, I say “Duuuuuude, I’m soooooo tired. STAAAAAAAHHHHHPPPPP.”

At this point, Lickitung stops, and begins to cuddle us. HE IS CUDDLING BOTH OF US. I’m still petrified, holding onto that blanket for dear life. Time. Seems. To. Stop. Not in a cute way either. About 2 minutes later, Lickitung says “well, goodnight guys,” and heads to bed.

Once Koffing’s door closes, Fearow and I begin to uneasily giggle. Given the circumstances, any urges that we previously should have dissipated in that unworldly awkward encounter. Somehow, by some miracle, this strange encounter was not a cock block…

The next morning, I ran into Lickitung in class, and he had apologized repeatedly about the previous night. I was under the impression that he had known about the nakedness and whatnot, until he mentioned, “Yeah it was really awkward, I was really high and you two were just trying to sleep.” … Well, not exactly.

What the hell, Wednesday…

Buffalo Knitter out, Peace…

HAPPY TINDER WEEK 2014!

This is the last day of tinder week and I wanted to make sure to save the best one for last. This one is a shout out to all of you game of thrones fans.

I will not give this tinder post a Pokemon name because it would just not be appropriate. Instead, today’s tinder post is about the Real life Khal Drogo (he even self proclaimed this on his tinder profile).

I shall backtrack to the night my friends took my phone. While they were swiping, they ran across this guy and we all started cracking up. They didn’t read his profile, but saw his main picture. They were dying because he looked like Khal Drogo. Now we decided to look at his other pictures, and in the process, we saw his about me. “The real life Khal Drogo”. (for those of you who aren’t as knowledgable in game of thrones, I also attached a picture of this character for your reference.)

This guy was seriously a more scrawny, pale version or Khal Drogo.

My friend, who is quite creative in his conversations posing as me, took my phone back and began the conversation.

I was expecting nothing less for the starting message. What I wasn’t expecting was the response.

Now my friend was having a blast going back and fourth in this conversation. What made it even better was when Drogo 2.0 started catching on in screenshot 3. He wanted my snapchat information to find out if I was “Some drunk from the flea bottom.”

Once I saw this, I called a near and dear friend of mine (shoutout to @rufiojaguar ) to tell him The situation. My friend agreed that if drogo 2.0 did give me his snapchat information, that my friend would send him an epic troll snapchat.

As I had predicted, Drogo 2.0 gave me his snapchat name, and I promptly gave it to my friend. I told my friend to also sent the snapchat to me as well. My friend send the snap shortly after which was him singing “Baby boy baby boy you fill my mind, you fulfill my fantasy. Yeah suck my dick now”

Drogo 2.0 opened the snap, and then sent me the last two messages. Obviously, he was catching on, and thought I was a trolling dude who wanted to get in his pants. While this may have not been completely false, as my friends who took over my snapchat were all males, I am not a man.

I went to go check today, I just saw that Drogo 2.0 has now blocked me. It was a great time while it lasted but our time to make shadow babies has concluded.

Thank you everyone for tuning into Tinder week 2014. I hope you all enjoyed the posts. I will be continuing Tinder Tuesday, with posts and conversations that I actually have versus my friends taking over.

Buffalo Knitter out, peace…